When I die, one of my friends has to go to wherever my residence is and guard my stuff.
I made this decision after it became apparent that most of America is already more interested in what the late Justice Antonin Scalia is leaving behind, rather than contemplating the man that was.
Seriously, guys, can we at least give this a few weeks?
Then again, the chances of the American people, its politicians and its media giving the vacant seat talk a rest are as likely as a GOP-led Senate actually approving of anyone President Obama nominates. There's a certain amount of despicableness about it, and I'm ashamedly on board.
It was the first place my mind went after hearing the dreadful news. As if the 2016 election cycle isn't already insane enough, now there's the matter of a Supreme Court nomination to deal with/fight over.
If we've learned anything from the American political process over the past few years, it's that elected officials love a good fight.
Within a few short hours of the Scalia news breaking, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, whose likeness to a turtle makes me chuckle every time he's on camera, sounded out the Republican stance.
"The American people should have a voice in the selection of their next Supreme Court Justice," read McConnell's statement. "Therefore, this vacancy should not be filled until we have a new president."
So not only do Senate Republicans want to wait out any nomination the President puts forth, but they also do not think he should nominate anyone in the first place? Interesting take from a group that prides itself on calling foul anytime they believe Obama has done anything counter to what the Constitution demands.
That's because the Constitution demands in this case that President Obama nominate a replacement for Scalia. It is his job, as the President, to do so, and he, rightfully, will.
There is no extra language to say the President can nominate a new Supreme Court Justice only when he or she has enough time left in their term. Senate Republicans will also note that there is no time limit in which they must act on a nomination.
They will take their time, and they should.
Because as much as venerable tortoise McConnell got wrong in his hurriedly made statement, he also got a big thing right. The American people have a chance to voice their feelings on the Supreme Court, and they should take it.
It's kind of a weird thing anyways, Supreme Court nominations. Here we are in a democratic society, where we have elections on taxes, propositions, representatives, senators, state and federal officials.
Yet every once in a while, one of those officials gets to appoint one person to the Supreme Court, for life. I don't disagree with the practice, but it's still an anomaly in our government.
The 2016 election was already big, pitting big government against small, anti-immigration against amnesty proponents, establishment against non-establishment, and even oddly-shaped hair against slowly receding follicles. It's only right we turn this cycle into a knock-down, drag out for all three branches of government.
I hope President Obama does name a potential successor and puts it to the Senate. As an admittedly left-wing, progressive-supporting blue blood, I'd love to see the Supreme Court tipped in the favor of liberals.
But I'm not an idiot. There's no way the Supreme Court will have nine justices come Nov. 8.
It'll be up to us, the people, to decide. That sounds about right.