Mike Garrett’s ego is so big it thought it should get its own conference during last week’s college athletic realignment.

Airlines should double-charge the USC athletic director when he flies – once for his body and again for his big head.

This week, the NCAA handed USC the stiffest penalty anyone has seen in college athletics in more than a decade.

That’s because an investigation found wrong doing in the Trojans' football and basketball programs.

In football: No bowl games for two seasons. A loss of 10 scholarships in each of the next three seasons. And vacating 14 wins from the 2004 and 2005 football seasons.

The NCAA found no shortage of villains among the USC staff, from ex-basketball star O.J. Mayo to former head football coach Pete Carroll, who jumped the Trojan ship after last season to coach the ... umm ... Seattle Seahawks (5-11 in ‘09) (Too good of opportunity to pass on. Seattle? Sure, Sparky. Wink).

But the 67-page NCAA report pointed the finger squarely at Garrett, the man in charge.

“The NCAA provided page after page detailing how some USC officials did, in fact, know about NCAA violations, or at least they should have known, and that Garrett, for one, did little to get the truth,” Sports Illustrated wrote.

Mike Garrett closed his eyes, saw no evil.

You’d think the sanctions might provide Garrett with a learning opportunity. Um, not so much.

On the same day of the rulings, Garrett spoke to a gathering of USC boosters in San Francisco.

Here’s what he said:

“As I read the decision by the NCAA. I read between the lines, and there was nothing but a lot of envy. They wish they all were Trojans'.”  

Really? That’s his best response?

Not ... sorry we cheated?

Not ... sorry I’ve let our programs be placed in this situation?

Not ... oh geez, I really hired Lane Kiffin as my football coach?

The NCAA is made up of university presidents from across the nation, and he thinks they are jealous of the spanked Trojans'?

This guy needs a shot of sanity.

Make it two. His head still can’t fit through a stadium walkway.

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