So the week of planning for five-plus Sunday hours of anything and everything pop culture is finally upon us.
It seems every year the Sup…oh, sorry; I meant 'Big Game' becomes more tedious to watch. There's the over-commercialization of everything, the over-blown buildup that results from nothing much else happening in the sporting world, and finally having to realize how un-godly expensive the entire show has become.
I don't understand why anyone actually pays thousands of dollars a ticket to go to the Big Game when they could easily watch it from home. Use that money to buy a nice big screen and sound system. I promise, it'll be cheaper.
Sure, I'll still watch. Firstly, I'm a sports guy, so at least part of this is still interesting. Secondly, I'm American, which means it's pretty much mandatory.
But what exactly is there to look forward to this time around?
The big event is already starting behind thanks to last year's debacle. Seriously, 43-8? That's less a championship game score, more the result of Kanye West playing a pickup game against fifth graders (by the way, that story was fake but totally believable).
The commercials were crap, Denver was crap, and to top it off I was stuck alone in my apartment because Oklahoma decided to get wintry.
This year, we've got half of the cause of that blight on championship games everywhere, Seattle, playing against a team that apparently can't even keep its (foot)balls from going soft.
And rest assured we'll be hearing all about that even after the game kicks off. It's being aired on NBC, aka the self-proclaimed moral authority on everything. Since they will undoubtedly throw the term "Deflategate" in the broadcast somewhere, we should all just start drowning our anger in stuffed mozzarella balls right now.
Also, New England's been to the Big Game like a million times already. Seriously guys, it was cute the first three times. Now it's just annoying.
Thank the lord Twitter has been around for the past few years. I'm still laughing at all the somewhat inappropriate jokes people made when the lights went out in the Superdome two years ago. Or as it would probably be called today, #WhoPulledThePlug-gate.
To top it all off, we'll have to put up with a halftime show that contains thousands of screaming crazies and Katy Perry. Actually, you know what? That part will be good. She's a passable artist on top of the fact that she's downright gorgeous.
It'll be entertaining, and that's all this game is anymore, right? Entertainment that is less about the sport, more about getting you, consumer of goods and messages, excited about everything.
We can all just hope that somewhere in there, an actual game of football will be played.